Posts Tagged ‘Miami Heat’

9.8, it’s not just the number of ounces in a Powerade bottle; it’s also the number of seconds it took for the national media to latch on to Derrick Rose as the next big thing, the second coming of Jordan and the humble superstar to captivate all our hearts.

            Let me preface this rant by stating that Derrick Rose is a great player. He deserved to win the regular season MVP award and in my opinion, will be a star in this league for years to come. His lackluster performance in the Eastern Conference Finals was a combination of tired legs from carrying the Bulls all season, and from the stifling Heat defense, specifically when LeBron James guarded him.

            It’s funny to see the reactions of prominent media members, “objectively” stating their disgust after a Bulls loss, while placing the blame on who they now claim to be an overrated Rose. So he was the greatest player since Jordan just a few months ago, but is now undeserving of his MVP trophy? Methinks there are ulterior motives at play here….

            The sad truth is Derrick Rose was unfairly crowned as savior to the thousands of non-Heat fans, all rooting against the King. He’s too young and too inexperienced to bear the weight of all this pressure, bestowed upon him by the bitter media determined to fight the “evil one” himself.

I get it. It was easy to pick this quiet kid as a sort of martyr, representing the slighted of the basketball world. He doesn’t talk trash, has the necessary skills and seems determined to do it all by himself (unlike the Big 3). Face it; he’s the perfect “anti-Lebron.” He’s the Superman to Lebron’s Lex Luthor, the Batman to James’ Joker, the Captain Am….eh, you get it.

We’re all beginning to “witness” that whether you love him or hate him, LeBron James is the best player in the NBA. He is better than Rose. He is better than Kobe. He is even better than his own teammate Wade. That pisses a lot of people off, those chugging the “Haterade.” I truly pity the MVP now that the Bulls are eliminated and the media’s fixation with him is done, his greatness forgotten, left to wallow in the emptiness of Jordan’s shadow.

The desperate media now move on to their last remaining hope against a LeBron championship, the final obstacle standing in the way of his rings: The German Larry Bird, the greatest shooter ever, the true MVP….until he loses and gets completely ripped and casted aside like his predecessors.

I feel for you, Dirk.

– Carlos Sanchez

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Politics, there is nothing sexy about it.  That is until Sarah Palin hits the airwaves.  Oh yeah giggity, giggity, giggity.   If I had a dollar for every man who touched himself, when they saw the brunette bombshell from Alaska, well gosh darnit I’d be like gazillionaire.  I understand Sarah Palin isn’t the most well-liked politician, or human being for that fact, but when her luscious lady lumps hit the big screen, it drives the boys crazy.  I think Tracy Morgan summed it up best last night before the New York Knicks and Miami Heats match-up, when he said,  ”Let me tell you something about Sarah Palin, man. She is good masturbation material. The glasses and all that. Great masturbation material.”  TBS – where funny happens my ass!

Everyone in the country, outside of the residents in Miami and a small population about 40 miles south of Cleveland, hates LeBron James. We get it. He’s the villain. He’s the one kicking the Cavs while they’re down (see: Lakers beat down of D-League team). While the King wills his current team to utter dominance, bathes in money and beautiful women, and kicks back in the only state NOT to be knee-deep in snow, faithful “Ohioans” are made to suffer in mediocrity.

The new (not AARP members) “Big 3” gets the most crap for planning all of this, for deciding – in advanced – to become free agents in the same summer, and for essentially, firmly grabbing the entire league by its tiny testicles. But how is what Carmelo Anthony is currently doing not infinitely more selfish? And more importantly, why are fans not expressing their “insightful” opinions on this issue?

Two high-profile athletes: one with seven years of loyal service and the term “free agent” firmly positioned before his name, another in the middle of a contract, determined to leverage his way out of a losing situation, amidst a circus of promises from ring-masters like Jay-Z and Spike Lee. The term “collusion” was thrown around a lot when Bosh, Wade and LeBron took their talents to South Beach, so what does the public have say about the texting between Amar’e and Carmelo, the whispers of sweet nothings and pleas to join forces?

So ultimately, what should ‘Melo do? Should he stay classy? Should he remain loyal to the franchise that brought him into the league, or bolt for a chance to win titles? Should he accept his legacy as a villain, or continue to be a role model for hypocrisy? What should he do? I don’t blame him for wanting to win AND make the most money, but I also have some common sense and an unbiased view on the situation. Best of luck to anyone trying to find those same qualities in fans from Cleveland, New York, Newark, Chicago, Los Angeles, Orlando, Boston, Atlanta…err, you get the point.

Just months after his ultimate “decision,” the six words that changed the basketball landscape, forever remain in infamy: “Taking my talents to South Beach.” A single statement that caused the nation to turn against a King, and a city left in shambles, made to play the role of a helpless victim. It’s easy to point out the villain in this story, right?

The heartless millionaire, who gave up his legacy and some of his paycheck to join other superstars; a spoiled prodigy, abandoning his hometown on national television, fleeing for the bright lights and parties of Miami. Seven years of loyal service, never a gripe, never a complaint, never a demand to be traded – unlike that of a diva “serpent.” All of this dedication, forgotten by the single lighting of a number 23 jersey, set a flame to the tune of rigorous boos.

We’re told to feel bad for Cleveland, to sympathize with the underdog, a city constantly mocked by the sporting gods, but as time drifts on, who looks like the jerk in all of this? Certainly the fault is on Lebron, who has remained quiet and humble while his former fans drunkenly pick fights with one another in a 30-point blowout, or while his former owner publicly ripped him, a la the crushed ex-girlfriend. There’s no fault in tweeting “@KingJames” with racial slurs and death threats when you’re a dejected Cavs fan, because they’re the victims, remember?

Deep within this sarcasm-laced opinion piece is an important message, for all haters and non-haters alike: when it’s all said and done, Lebron will have the glory, he will have the rings, and he will be lauded as one of the greats. So keep up the hate, continue with the constant over-scrutinizing of every comment, every “shoulder bump” and even the number of fans in the stands. Find criticism in what you please, because we’ve won 10 straight, our weather is 80-degrees year round and we live where you come to vacation. The King has found his new empire, and South Beach sure doesn’t hate him.

– Carlos Sanchez

It just seems like these days it’s getting entirely too easy to poke fun of Lebron James and his gang of cronies down in South Beach.   I guess then the question is, where do we go from here?  Well, thanks to Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane’s recent YouTube channel sensation Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy, we can now not only make fun of real-life Lebron, but cartoon Lebron as well. Twice the fun, score!  Well, where shall we start?  Hmmm, well with the Miami Heat sporting an impressive 8-6 record and the team failing to live up to expectations, I can’t imagine Lebron is sleeping all that well these days so maybe his dreams or should I say lack there of?  Great, this should be interesting!


Kids are so cute at this age, especially when they’re using their words and not their fists to beat down Lebron James and his overinflated ego.  Happy Holidays Bron Bron.

It’s like they took the words right out of my mouth!