Posts Tagged ‘Dallas Mavericks’

9.8, it’s not just the number of ounces in a Powerade bottle; it’s also the number of seconds it took for the national media to latch on to Derrick Rose as the next big thing, the second coming of Jordan and the humble superstar to captivate all our hearts.

            Let me preface this rant by stating that Derrick Rose is a great player. He deserved to win the regular season MVP award and in my opinion, will be a star in this league for years to come. His lackluster performance in the Eastern Conference Finals was a combination of tired legs from carrying the Bulls all season, and from the stifling Heat defense, specifically when LeBron James guarded him.

            It’s funny to see the reactions of prominent media members, “objectively” stating their disgust after a Bulls loss, while placing the blame on who they now claim to be an overrated Rose. So he was the greatest player since Jordan just a few months ago, but is now undeserving of his MVP trophy? Methinks there are ulterior motives at play here….

            The sad truth is Derrick Rose was unfairly crowned as savior to the thousands of non-Heat fans, all rooting against the King. He’s too young and too inexperienced to bear the weight of all this pressure, bestowed upon him by the bitter media determined to fight the “evil one” himself.

I get it. It was easy to pick this quiet kid as a sort of martyr, representing the slighted of the basketball world. He doesn’t talk trash, has the necessary skills and seems determined to do it all by himself (unlike the Big 3). Face it; he’s the perfect “anti-Lebron.” He’s the Superman to Lebron’s Lex Luthor, the Batman to James’ Joker, the Captain Am….eh, you get it.

We’re all beginning to “witness” that whether you love him or hate him, LeBron James is the best player in the NBA. He is better than Rose. He is better than Kobe. He is even better than his own teammate Wade. That pisses a lot of people off, those chugging the “Haterade.” I truly pity the MVP now that the Bulls are eliminated and the media’s fixation with him is done, his greatness forgotten, left to wallow in the emptiness of Jordan’s shadow.

The desperate media now move on to their last remaining hope against a LeBron championship, the final obstacle standing in the way of his rings: The German Larry Bird, the greatest shooter ever, the true MVP….until he loses and gets completely ripped and casted aside like his predecessors.

I feel for you, Dirk.

– Carlos Sanchez

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Like a scrotum, here it is in a nutshell.  It seems like everywhere Justin Bieber goes, he’s showered with hugs, kisses, positive energy and 14-year-old girls panties.  Ewwww!  He’s so popular and lovable that Tom Brady ripped off the Bieber hair-do.  Usher?  Well, that’s a whole different beast.  I’ve heard the Biebs got him to switch teams a long time ago if you know what I’m talking about, huh.  So entering last night’s New York Knicks and Dallas Mavericks game at the Garden, he should have expected more of the same man love he experiences around the country, correct?  That’s a big fat negative.  Have you been to New York, let alone the Garden?  No man, woman or mythical beast is safe from scrutiny and the ever popular sound of booing.  And, if there is one person on this Earth,whose ego needs to be brought back to reality, it’s that skinny little twerp Justin Bieber.  I say off with his head, or at least with his career.

Dirk Nowitzki and the Dallas Mavericks may have crushed the spirit of New Jersey Nets fans with his game winning shot last Saturday night, but oh no not The Sports Moles.  Hard to be down in the dumps, when you’re sitting only a few seats away from the world’s most famous plumper humper.  After getting up close and personal with that monstrous booty, I too can now confirm that if it gets any bigger, it will be registering its own zip code.

As the Dallas Mavericks continue their wondrous ride on the NBA carousel, posting one of the leagues best records at 24-6, Mark Cuban’s minions are taking every opportunity to capitalize on the team’s successes.   With that being said, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that the Mav’s have decided to unleash the baddest energy drink on the market – Tuff Juice.  Can’t say it’s a real shocker that the Tuff Juice commercial is based around Caron Butler and not the floppy German Bratwurst Dirk Nowitzki.  If Caron were smart, he’d slip some of his “secret stuff” into Dirk’s Gatorade.  Like they always say, “Get in, while the gettings good.”