Archive for the ‘General Sports’ Category

From a very early age, kids around the globe are raised hearing great stories about this ideal known as a “dream job,” where people make vast fortunes, either monetarily or internally doing the things they love.  For some this job may be a doctor, an astronaut, a firefighter, a game show host or even a professional athlete.   This ideal, obviously varies with girls, boys, interests, upbringing, socio-economic status, and numerous other factors.  However, after years of research and countless hours in-front of a television, I may have very well found a job that could even make King Midas envious.  What is this holy grail I speak of?  A member of the hit ESPN television  program Pardon the Interruption (PTI).  Take a look at this behind the scenes video of the cast during a commercial break playing dodge ball with co-host Tony Kornheiser and tell me this isn’t a workplace you’d be glad to show up to everyday?

T-Mobile only gave us a sneak peek, but oh no, The Sports Mole doesn’t go through life doing things half ass, so here is the full-version of the always popular Charles Barkley in his first and likely last music video debut.  Barkley for Prez in 2012, who’s with me?  No?  Okay, well ENJOY!

Did you see that?  Honestly, did you just see that?  Holy hefers, that was ridiculous!  I’d be willing to bet that there is only a handful of NHL players that could pull that shot off on the first attempt.  Yes, I know in this case it was luck, but I’ll take luck over talent any day, if it gets me a cool $50,000.  Do you have any idea how many tubes of Gold Bond or bags of Pampers this old man can get with that type of coin?  Well, how much would $0.00 get him, because that’s what he ended up getting?  Why the world asks?  According to the owners of the Indiana minor league hockey team, the man was disqualified for shooting in-front of the starting line.

Holy Hamburger Helper, does this make me hot underneath the collar.  Are they serious?  This has to go down as one of the biggest screwings in sports history, and that says something considering how many women Bill Russell was with in his day.  Why doesn’t the insurance company that sponsored the event just admit the truth – that they never had $50 k to give away, since they never in a million years thought someone could conquer this challenging feat.  All I know is, that they’re lucky it wasn’t The Sports Mole they bent over and screwed, otherwise there might be some heads rolling today!

Times are rough right now.  There is no denying that, especially if you’re a Californian. Not only do you have to deal with the uncertainty of earthquakes and mudslides on a daily basis, but the notion that your entire state is broke can’t be an easy pill to swallow. Why is this important?  Not sure it really is. However, maybe  this can be used as an excuse for the lack of funding for the University of California Berkeley’s baseball team, which the school is being forced to cut after this season.

Interesting theory, but I have a different one, a much more realistic one.  How about the idea that no one gives a flying flute about college baseball besides the player’s parents?  Hey, there’s an idea!  How much revenue does an average college baseball game bring in for a school in comparison to say college football, basketball or ping pong?  Not much, that’s for damn sure!  With that being said, it should come as no surprise that in desperate times, people result to desperate measures and it looks like the Cal-Berkeley squad took that lonely path, when they released this godforsaken music video.  If players want to raise money for their program, they should have done what any sensible young Cali college student would – SELL MARIJUANA!


OMG Becky, look at that car, it’s like totally one of those rap guys.  Are those 22’s?  No. No.  It’s just Carmelo Anthony’s 1971 Chevrolet Chevelle, plastered with Baltimore Orioles logos, a must for every sports fans Hall of Fame of crap shrine.  Besides the defect on the hood and rear bumper, this car is in mint condition and a rare find in todays market.  So I ask you, “What does this all mean?”  Did Melo finally come to the realization that the Orioles are about as talented as Kim Kardashian when she’s not lying on her back?  Is the looming possibility of him missing out on that three year $65 million dollar extension getting to him? It has too!  I mean this car is easily worth oh I don’t know 30-40 grand and he’s selling for $16,300?  Today’s life lesson: anything and everything the Baltimore Orioles touch turns to crap – LITERALLY!  Watch out Vlad!

The Connecticut Huskies football team is arguably coming off one the programs greatest seasons in school history – sporting an 8-5 overall record, 5-2 in the conference, winning the Big East title and landing in a BCS bowl.  Despite, getting spanked like Bill Clinton at a Dutch whore house 48-20 by the Oklahoma Sooners in that Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the Huskies have a bright future with Johnny McEntee at the helm.  Who’s that?  Well, that’s easy.  It’s the greatest trick shot quarterback to ever walk the face of this great Earth.  What he can do with a football makes him a lock for stardom in the NCAA and beyond, correct?  Ummmm, highly doubtful considering the kids numbers as a collegiate quarterback are followed by a BIG FAT 0 in every statistical category.  Sure, he’s a walk on, but if he can hit a wide receiver at full speed blindfolded, smoke a Domino’s sign off a moving car and bury a basketball shot using a football from 70-yards away, you really have to ask yourself, “Why no scholarship offers?”  Perhaps, he’s just a one trick pony – ZING!

I’ve been around to witness 24 of the of the 45 Super Bowls, none more embarrassing  than last nights – thanks Christina Aguilera. What was supposed to be an epic battle between two of the leagues most historic franchises, instead inflicted feelings of the first time I had sex – quick, awkward and down right boring.  That might have had something to do with the fact that she was asleep, but that’s nor here, nor there.  It’s hard to call Super Bowl XLV anything, but an epic let down.  The weather was trash, Christina Aguilera wrecked our national anthem, the Black Eyed Peas were…….well the Blacked Eyed Peas and the commercials about as sad as watching a retard hump a doorknob.  Fear not though evildoers as I managed to find one commercial that stood out above the rest, and no it wasn’t that ridiculously stupid one featuring the villainous Darth Vader kid using the dark force to turn on the headlights of his dad’s ugly Volkswagen.  Instead, it was the Dorrito’s “finger licking” good spot that had most men wondering if eating Dorritos and being gay are somehow now linked.  If this is true, well then I need to wash myself immediately, cause it’s sticky.