I’ve been around to witness 24 of the of the 45 Super Bowls, none more embarrassing  than last nights – thanks Christina Aguilera. What was supposed to be an epic battle between two of the leagues most historic franchises, instead inflicted feelings of the first time I had sex – quick, awkward and down right boring.  That might have had something to do with the fact that she was asleep, but that’s nor here, nor there.  It’s hard to call Super Bowl XLV anything, but an epic let down.  The weather was trash, Christina Aguilera wrecked our national anthem, the Black Eyed Peas were…….well the Blacked Eyed Peas and the commercials about as sad as watching a retard hump a doorknob.  Fear not though evildoers as I managed to find one commercial that stood out above the rest, and no it wasn’t that ridiculously stupid one featuring the villainous Darth Vader kid using the dark force to turn on the headlights of his dad’s ugly Volkswagen.  Instead, it was the Dorrito’s “finger licking” good spot that had most men wondering if eating Dorritos and being gay are somehow now linked.  If this is true, well then I need to wash myself immediately, cause it’s sticky.


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