Super Bowl Ad: “When Ass Implants Go Wrong – A Kim Kardashian Story”

Posted: January 26, 2011 in General Sports, NFL
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Super Bowl XLV, how are you not excited?  After all, it is arguably the greatest sporting event there is, and that includes the World Cup and National Dice Rolling Championships.  Add in two of the NFL’s most historically proud franchises, a brand spanking $1.2 billion venue, a rapist and countless knee slapping commercials and even Master P is “bout bout.”   However, what if I told you that the following Monday morning water cooler conversation with Todd and Nancy would have absolutely nothing to do with the game, but instead Kim Kardashian?  Bitch is always stealing the spotlight!  That’s probably what some of you would say, but oh no, not me.  Then again, you wouldn’t be wrong in your analysis.

This week, I managed to get my hairy, nubby little hands on some inside information (US Weekly) on a commercial Kim is set to release during the Super Bowl.  Oh man, I thought you said the NFL nixed that Holly Madison crap.  Easy people, it’s actually for a much more realistic product – Sketcher’s Shape-ups.  Wow, my 5th grade teacher Ms. Johnson did teach me something useful after all, as that’s what some might call an “oxymoron.”  How can a plastic-ass be toned or shaped up?  Wait a gosh darn minute there.  Kim has gone on record numerous times saying she’s never had plastic surgery. Sure, and a magic fairy gave Magic Johnson aids one night while he was sleeping next to his wife.  C’mon man!

Let’s get back to the point at hand here people.  Did Sketchers do any sort of research before picking a celebrity spokesperson? Honestly, if Kim’s ass gets tooclose to a microwave oven, it’s likely going to melt.  Say it with me, “You can’t tone a fake, plastic ass.”  Note to Kim, next time you go to Sir Mix-A-Lot for an ass implant,  ask him to take out the pillows he put in last time, cause if that badunkadunk gets any bigger, New York City will have to lay claim to a sixth borough.  And we all know the boys love to “borough” inside her mole hole – yikes! Quickly, does the name Kim Kardashian mean anything today if the video of Ray J nailing her doesn’t leak – NO!  Why then is she one of the most sought after celebs out there?  Forget going to college sweetie, mom just wants you to get nailed at tomorrow night’s kegger, and oh hey, don’t forget to film that ish.  Now, here’s twenty bucks, make your mommy proud!

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jon Stillwell, Jon Stillwell. Jon Stillwell said: Super Bowl Ad: “When Ass Implants Go Wrong – A Kim Kardashian Story” http://bit.ly/htzcEr #NFL […]

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