The Jersey Shore Has Struck Again

Posted: September 17, 2010 in General Sports
Tags: , , , ,

As the great Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world there is nothing that is certain except life, death, taxes and that the cast of Jersey Shore will continually haunt mankind for eternity.”  Okay, well maybe he wasn’t aware of JWoww, The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, Ronnie, Sammi and Vinny, but hell he got off easy compared to the rest of us chumps who are stuck seeing these oil-slicked mugs every which way we turn.  Hell, I’m embarrassed that my recent move from Minnesota to the Big Apple has now put me within a short hop, skip and train ride from the actual Jersey Shore where more hair gel encompasses the sand than oil in the Gulf.  How lucky!  Well thank the heavens I stay as far away from that show and it’s grease monkey cast as possible by involving myself in the wonderful world of sports.   Well, then how is it that the four-foot nothing leprechaun Snooki has managed to rear her ugly little head like a bad case of anal warts in the realm of baseball?

If being a New York Mets fan wasn’t depressing enough, it sure is now that some knucklehead discovered a video from a few years back of Snooki singing the team’s anthem from her dining room table.  Wait, the team has an anthem?  Well, after watching Snooki flash her golden pipes to a techno remix of it, it’s no wonder the team has been trying to get a new version written.  If Beethoven was able to write, produce and play some of the greatest masterpieces in the history of music despite being deaf, it really makes one wonder how Snooki wasn’t able to realize that she has the vocal cords of a 13-year-old boy going through puberty.  Hey Snook!  Do all our ears a favor and use that mouth of yours for what we all know it’s best suited for!

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