The First Cut Is The Deepest

Posted: June 28, 2010 in Soccer
Tags: , , , , , ,

After last weeks colossal World Cup win over the feisty Algerian squad, we heard American star midfielder Landon Donovan give a “cute” little shout out to wife Bianca Kajlich during a post-game interview and in turn made all boyfriends and husbands look like absolute failures. That wouldn’t have been planned out ahead of a time in an attempt to apologize for a previously made mistake, would it have been?  Huh, you don’t say.  Well, I don’t mean to brag, but wow thats a great call by me.  With that being said, I would like to congratulate America’s little baby faced soccer assassin, Landon Donovan on becoming the newest member of married men who have fathered love children to women not called their wives.  It’s rumored that Landon delivered the penetrating blow to his mistress while on loan in the English Premiership last winter.

Love doctors are currently prescribing Landon “I dunk my donuts in other women’s coffee” Donovan with heavy doses of major a** kissing 6-7 times a day if he wants any chance of reuniting with the beautiful “Rules of Engagement” star.   This little conundrum Mr. Donovan currently finds himself in is being described as “a private matter” but I think it’s safe to say it is no longer that. I just want to quickly reach out to Tiger Woods and thank him for setting this very honorable precedent for all professional athletes to go out into the world and become cheating, dirty wankers.  Cheers Mate!


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