Tiger’s Apology Adds Insult to Injury

Posted: February 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

Now that the dust has had time to settle since Tiger Woods made his first public appearance since his adultery with God knows how many women, I decided to delve back into the apology and watch the video for further analysis.  The “apology”  was approximately fifteen minutes long, yet I would argue the apology never actually even took place!  To be quite honest, I am not even sure what the purpose of this little get together was with Tiger’s friends, family and small amount of media in attendance.  Tiger would have been better off holding the press conference poolside at his Orlando home because in all honesty it was pathetic at best and I can assure you the performance he put on for the world will not win him an Oscar or Golden Globe anytime soon.  With that little rant and steam now in the past lets take a few seconds to point out the flaws and good points made in his “apology.”

Believe me when I say that it hurt me deeply to have to watch and re-watch this “apology” from Tiger, but I did and I even managed to squeeze out a few positive noteworthy items that grabbed my attention *silent laugh*, but really.  The first and perhaps most important issue that was addressed by Woods was that he actually addressed the public after essentially disappearing from the face of the Earth like the last chicken wing at a 300lb + bachelorette party! While on the topic of food I think it was obvious by the second chin Tiger was sporting, that whatever rehab clinic he is going to, they sure are feeding him well as he has clearly put on a few pounds since his departure from golf.  Anyways, I found that Tiger was realistic when he talked about the long enduring road he would have to take to get back into the good graces of Elin his wife, the American public, his friends and fellow golfers.  He admitted his mistakes, took 100% blame for his wrongdoings (as it would be hard to shovel it off on anyone else) and committed himself to becoming a better husband, father and friend.  However, with all this being said, that is where the positives of this public escapade stop and the negatives begin.

Its amazing to think that a preplanned press conference that was intended to help settle the circus surrounding the Tiger Woods controversy may have actually put him farther behind the eight ball, but if you ask me….it certainly did.   Let’s start off by making fun of the outfit Tiger Woods choose to wear to the podium!  I mean, lets be honest!  The man is nearly a billionaire and he put together that ensemble?  I would have rather had him wear something out of the Mr. T collection, but I guess Tiger’s wardrobe reflects his personality: dry, boring and uneventful!  Wait!  Was I just describing Tigers view of his marriage with his supermodel wife, Elin Nordegren?  Too early?  Hmmmmmm, well that’s kind of awkward.  In all honesty though, I found it nearly impossible several times throughout the “apology” to not burst out laughing, I mean his attempt to be sincere was almost as bad as watching a porno with the feature actor being B Arthur!  Throughout the entirety of the apology, Tiger tried numerous times to produce a single tear (I think I can, I think I can), but was unsuccessful.  If Tiger was truly regretful for his unfaithful actions he would have been able to produce an apology that wasn’t prewritten by a publicist and would have been able to keep eye contact with the audience instead of looking down every second.  Tiger’s public speaking ability compares to the likes of the little fat kid in Billy Madison, where Adam Sandler is forced to stand up and say, “Ta ta ta today junior!”

Some interesting quotes that really stuck out in my mind were when Tiger said, “People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife, Elin and to my children?” Hmm sounds simply enough, right?  Wait, isn’t Tiger at all curious himself how he could have ruined perhaps what most would consider the perfect life?  I mean he had it all: the gorgeous wife, two beautiful children, enough money to last ten lifetimes and an athletic ability that is unparallel to almost anyone in the history of sports.  I guess the old adage is right, “money doesn’t bring happiness!” Amazingly enough, if people didn’t find Tiger cocky and arrogant before they certainly did after he said, “I worked my whole life and thought that I deserved all the temptations around me and was entitled to them.” I mean, really?  No, really…….please tell me he isn’t serious!  I have really wanted a brand new Bentley my entire life and I feel that I am entitled to one, yet you don’t see me going over to the local Denny Heckers auto dealership and taking one do you?  Wait Denny Hecker has his own problems to worry about, forget I said that! 

Anyways, I think it is quite clear from my words that I didn’t in any way, shape or form find Tiger Woods’ public “apology” sincere, heartfelt or even genuine.  I think most can see that this stunt was performed 100% as a marketing tool to help ease the process of when Tiger returns to the golf course, which I still firmly believe will be right before the Masters.  Either way, I want to make it perfectly clear, that I think Tiger is the best and will go down as the best golfer to ever walk this Earth; it’s just too bad he is also the biggest idiot on this Earth for throwing away everything else in his life!

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