Part deux of the Mole’s NBA Mid-Season report is here, and as Will Smith might say, ‘Welcome to the Wild Wild West, where Men In Black fight like Ali, all in the Pursuit of Happiness’ (see what I did there?) So stay chillin’, relaxin’, maxin’, and all cool through this semi-comprehensive prediction of meaningless regular-season basketball.
Western Conference Playoff Teams
Dallas Mavericks: ‘David Hasselhoff! Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!’ – And Dirk clanks another free throw; vintage 2006 Finals – Grade: A Prediction: 3rd seed
Denver Nuggets: George Karl is a crazy person. That is all. Grade: C Prediction: 8th seed
Los Angeles Lakers: For some reason, I feel like this team has one last run left in them. Maybe this meth is starting to kick in??? Grade: B+ Prediction: 2nd seed
Memphis Grizzlies: Utah without Deron Williams < < < Rudy Gay’s Grizz (Yep, I’m 5 years old) Grade: C+ Prediction: 7th seed
New Orleans Hornets: A Chris Paul lead squad can’t sell out home games. More reason for contraction (I do know the meaning of the word, by the way…) Grade: B- Prediction: 5th seed
Oklahoma City Thunder: Although KD is a ‘fake clutch guy,’ getting Perkins for bleepin’ Jeff Green should help this team make a playoff run (The entire Eastern Conference thanks you, Danny Ainge) Grade: B+ Prediction: 4th seed
Portland Trailblazers: Oh yea, Greg Oden is still making more than 6 million a year while teachers across the country lose their jobs. Let’s get political, Portland! Grade: C+ Prediction: 6th seed
San Antonio Spurs: Tim Duncan stinking it up on my fantasy bench while they dominate the conference. AWESOME. Grade: A+ Prediction: 1st seed
- Carlos Sanchez
