As part of The Sports Mole’s comprehensive coverage of the NBA, we bring you our mid-season grades and award picks in a two-piece series, broken down by conference. Because who knows more about basketball than some random dude in South Beach, am I right?! (Teams are placed in alphabetical order and in no way reflect the personal views of the author. I mean, come on. Why the heck would I root for the Hawks? Joe Johnson? Overpaid much? Alright, moving on….
Eastern Conference Playoff Teams
Atlanta Hawks: Can you pick their coach out of a lineup? Yeah, me neither. Grade: B Prediction: 5th seed
Boston Celtics: Pretty convinced that a baby seal is murdered every time I think about giving this team any credit, so I’ll hold back. Grade: A+ Prediction: 2nd seed
Chicago Bulls: In case you didn’t already know, Derrick Rose is really darn good. Also, Joakim Noah is a mindless buffoon. Grade: A Prediction: 3rd seed
Cleveland Cavaliers: Whoa, just had a weird flashback to the year 2010. They still have stinky 3G iPhones! (Bwahahahahaha) Grade: F+++++. Prediction: The Gutter
Indiana Pacers: Most annoying team in the league, but darn fun to watch. Roy Hibbert is also on my fantasy team, so that’s cool. Grade: C+ Prediction: 8th seed
Miami Heat: (Swoon. LeBron. Swoon. Swoon. LeBron. Swoooooooon). So what if I’m a homer…you want to fight about it? Grade: A- Prediction: 1st seed
New York Knicks: Renaldo Balkman is back and he’s ready to take on the collective world. Grade: B- Prediction: 6th seed (with Melo)
Orlando Magic: Stan Van Gundy’s yelp can be heard by bears from over a mile away. Believe me. It’s science. Grade: B+ Prediction: 4th seed
Philadelphia 76ers: Starting point guard is named ‘Jrue.’ That’s all I got on ‘em. Grade: C Prediction: 7th seed
East Rookie of the Year: John Wall; The Wiz
East Coach of the Year: Frank Vogel; Future Permanent Coach of the Pacers
East MVP: King James; The Heatles
East 6th Man Award: Glenn Davis; The Big Babies
- Carlos Sanchez
